i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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