You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize