Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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