i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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