Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Randomize
Follow @tfln