i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize