I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize