My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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