Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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