So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize