I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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