so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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