No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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