Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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