Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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