You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize