i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize