It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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