Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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