I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize