May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize