I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize