That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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