Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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