vagina is talking i cant
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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