my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize