Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize