Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize