He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Mom said you looked used
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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