im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize