I can text with my tongue
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
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But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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