I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize