Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
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We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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