I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize