Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so that wasnt chicken after all
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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