wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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