Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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