dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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