he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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