I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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