either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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