dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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