I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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