whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize