You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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