i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
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Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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