And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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