Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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