Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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