After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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